Our Products

12 meticulously pulverized options for every nostril.

Complete nutrition. Zero chewing.

$29.99 / month

Lyophilized avian protein substrate for rapid intranasal uptake.

$44.99

An entire roast beef dinner, pulverized for your convenience.

$49.99

Like getting water up your nose at the pool, but optimized.

$14.99

Your daily vegetables, bypassing the digestive middleman.

$34.99

Why wait for absorption through your primitive stomach?

$24.99

Definitely not derived from coca leaves. We cannot stress this enough.

$39.99

Skip the shake. Skip the stomach. Skip leg day too, we're not your mom.

$34.99

Children's vitamins. Now with less asbestos than our competitors!

$19.99

Dessert for your sinuses. Pairs with a 2019 Bordeaux, also available in snortable form.

$27.99

12 varieties + a complimentary Precision Delivery Apparatus.

$59.99

Monthly auto-delivery with escalating dosage recommendations.

$79.99 / month