The Full Bird
Lyophilized avian protein substrate for rapid intranasal uptake.
$44.99
Our newest product leverages controlled intranasal insufflation of a lyophilized avian protein substrate, enabling rapid nutrient uptake via pulmonary gas-exchange interface. In simpler terms: it's snortable turkey.
Each packet contains one full Thanksgiving turkey — bones, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and that weird gelatin thing your aunt brings — freeze-dried and pulverized into a fine powder optimized for nasal delivery. We destroyed a perfectly good dinner so you don't have to eat it.
The Full Bird delivers the complete Thanksgiving experience in under 3 seconds. Side effects may include nostalgic sneezing, involuntary gratitude, and a faint gravy smell that lingers for up to 72 hours.
Science Facts
Serving Size: 1 insufflation (if you dare)
* These facts are not facts. Not evaluated by the FDA. Not evaluated by anyone with credentials.
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